burnout?

I have now lost 45 pounds, am a size 16, but wearing 18-20s still.  I swim still for 30 minutes, but felt the need to step it up and add weight training.  So, while Patrick is at 6 am seminary, I go to the gym and get on the weights.  I had forgotten how much I really liked it.  It's different for me this time though, because my knees complain about leg work.  Working around that problem by doing leg exercises that work the muscles I want without hurting my knees and back.  

Today I feel pretty dog-gone good.

I picked up a magazine put out by Reader's Digest, "reverse Diabetes," because it had some interesting things to consider, and a way for me to be able to enjoy pizza without my body freaking out.

It contained a section titled "Are You burned out?" with a little T-F quiz.  I took it and answered true to 4 of the six questions:

• Yes, my diabetes is taking up too much of my mental and physical energy every day.
• Yes I feel exhausted or fatigued by the effort it takes to manage diabetes
• Yes, I feel like diabetes controls my life.
• Yes, I feel overwhelmed by my diabetes
• No I am not failing with my diabetes regimen
• No, I am, indeed, motivated to keep up with my diabetes plan because if I don't, well, I just can't cope with how I feel with high blood sugar (I am not on any medication)

This section recommends to define yourself as a person first.  We are to look for the good in ourselves, the positive things.  Diabetes is not who we are, but like nearsightedness, it must be accounted for.

So, I have to list the good things about myself that have nothing to do with diabetes, but I have listed the good things that have come about,

Notes to self:

• Heavenly Father is helping me through this
• He guides me in my food choices (among other things)
• I hear His guidance and understand
• He's made promises
• He will help me to control my blood sugar
• We will manage my diabetes
• He, personally, is bringing me to a place where my body is responding to and producing insulin.
• He is my doctor and my dietician
• He tells me if I need just a Cinnamon pill, or if I should take the Vinegar pill.
• He put me on an herbal Pancreas Formula, 1/3 the recommended dosage, and then told me when to stop taking it.
• He is in control
• He is getting my body to work right
• My blood pressure is down.
• I have lost 45 pounds
• I swim 5 days a week now.  
• Heavenly Father makes sure I have a lane to swim in when I go to the gym. (I didn't used to when I first started learning to do it)
• I am doing weights again, remembering how much I love this.
• My abdominal muscles beg for more
• I am not afraid of the scale anymore
• Going back to the old ways is not an option
• I have discovered how wonderful almonds taste and I can eat lots of them without gaining weight.
• I can eat Grilled Chicken Salad as often as I want
• I get to eat olives without guilt.
• I sleep better
• I don't feel "zing"-y anymore when I go to bed.  
• I don't feel the internal personal earthquake when I go to bed, anymore.
• I can eat a cookie once in a while
• I can eat a small piece of coconut cake once in a while.
• I am learning to substitute the foods that bother me with things that don't.
• I have learned how wonderful whole grains  taste in Banana bread.
• I'm not eating the foods that make me hungry after  I've eaten.
• I can snack of a few pieces of Hormel Turkey Pepperoni

Swimming Through a Monsoon

I can share a lane at the pool.  Fine.  But there are people who don't share a lane well with others, such as the two girls who jumped in to share my lane the other day. The two of them shared the one side, sort of one side, as they kept swimming right down the middle of the lane.  Doesn't work well for me.  When the next lane over cleared, I jumped the rope.

Then there is the man who can't gracefully share a POOL with others.  He slings water  EVERYWHERE and if you happen to be swimming in the next lane over (or anywhere where within 100 feet) you will experience the monsoon effect and ensuing tsunami. He nearly drowned me yesterday.  

I have now lost 43 pounds.