burnout?

I have now lost 45 pounds, am a size 16, but wearing 18-20s still.  I swim still for 30 minutes, but felt the need to step it up and add weight training.  So, while Patrick is at 6 am seminary, I go to the gym and get on the weights.  I had forgotten how much I really liked it.  It's different for me this time though, because my knees complain about leg work.  Working around that problem by doing leg exercises that work the muscles I want without hurting my knees and back.  

Today I feel pretty dog-gone good.

I picked up a magazine put out by Reader's Digest, "reverse Diabetes," because it had some interesting things to consider, and a way for me to be able to enjoy pizza without my body freaking out.

It contained a section titled "Are You burned out?" with a little T-F quiz.  I took it and answered true to 4 of the six questions:

• Yes, my diabetes is taking up too much of my mental and physical energy every day.
• Yes I feel exhausted or fatigued by the effort it takes to manage diabetes
• Yes, I feel like diabetes controls my life.
• Yes, I feel overwhelmed by my diabetes
• No I am not failing with my diabetes regimen
• No, I am, indeed, motivated to keep up with my diabetes plan because if I don't, well, I just can't cope with how I feel with high blood sugar (I am not on any medication)

This section recommends to define yourself as a person first.  We are to look for the good in ourselves, the positive things.  Diabetes is not who we are, but like nearsightedness, it must be accounted for.

So, I have to list the good things about myself that have nothing to do with diabetes, but I have listed the good things that have come about,

Notes to self:

• Heavenly Father is helping me through this
• He guides me in my food choices (among other things)
• I hear His guidance and understand
• He's made promises
• He will help me to control my blood sugar
• We will manage my diabetes
• He, personally, is bringing me to a place where my body is responding to and producing insulin.
• He is my doctor and my dietician
• He tells me if I need just a Cinnamon pill, or if I should take the Vinegar pill.
• He put me on an herbal Pancreas Formula, 1/3 the recommended dosage, and then told me when to stop taking it.
• He is in control
• He is getting my body to work right
• My blood pressure is down.
• I have lost 45 pounds
• I swim 5 days a week now.  
• Heavenly Father makes sure I have a lane to swim in when I go to the gym. (I didn't used to when I first started learning to do it)
• I am doing weights again, remembering how much I love this.
• My abdominal muscles beg for more
• I am not afraid of the scale anymore
• Going back to the old ways is not an option
• I have discovered how wonderful almonds taste and I can eat lots of them without gaining weight.
• I can eat Grilled Chicken Salad as often as I want
• I get to eat olives without guilt.
• I sleep better
• I don't feel "zing"-y anymore when I go to bed.  
• I don't feel the internal personal earthquake when I go to bed, anymore.
• I can eat a cookie once in a while
• I can eat a small piece of coconut cake once in a while.
• I am learning to substitute the foods that bother me with things that don't.
• I have learned how wonderful whole grains  taste in Banana bread.
• I'm not eating the foods that make me hungry after  I've eaten.
• I can snack of a few pieces of Hormel Turkey Pepperoni